Crossing The Line
by Nyxelestia
Summary: Between a captain and her commander, there are a few lines which shouldn't be crossed. But then again, this is the Delta Quadrant - this is where all the rules are broken. This is where all lines are crossed. This is where a kiss can never be just a kiss.
1. Crossing The Line

**_Crossing The Line_**

**A/N:**** A little note – this is post-Equinox. And please note, I've seen most but not all ST:V episodes, so a few things may not be completely correct. Any and all technical information comes from Memory Alpha, the Star Trek Wiki. (If you want to check it out, go to www. Memory-alpha. org – it's an awesome website.)**

**Anyway, this started out as a one-shot, but I think I'll probably continue it. Enjoy!**

* * *

Beep-Beep

"Come in," the captain said, knowing who was here.

The doors slid open, and she smiled as Chakotay walked in, holding his bottle of wine, an amused grin on his face.

"I thought we were having pot-roast?" he said, half asking, half saying, and gesturing to the chicken on the table.

"Remember what I said about calling the replicator a glorified toaster?" she asked. Chakotay nodded, a chuckle rippling through his body. It turned into full laughter when she pointed to a charred, depilated mess sitting on her coffee table.

"You should be a lot nicer to inanimate objects."

"I said sorry to it," she said, sitting down after pulling out his seat for him.

Chakotay shook his head, not doubting his captain of have actually done that.

"So," he said. "After the entire Equinox thing…how are you holding up?" he asked.

"Do we have to jump to this so soon?" she asked.

"Okay, not so fast…" Chakotay said, taking a slice of chicken. "Anything else?"

"How are the new crewmembers working out?" she asked.

"Going well," Chakotay said. "They're making good friends with Tom, of all people."

"Really?" she asked. "That's…odd."

"Really?" Chakotay asked. "I'm not surprised at all."

"How so?" Janeway asked, taking another bite of chicken.

"Well, they're outcasts, hated with a passion by just about everyone on the ship, facing cold shoulders, people doing all sorts of little things against them, adding up to miserable lives…hell, so far, they still don't have it as bad as Tom."

"Not as bad?" she asked.

"They haven't been attacked."

She remembered. Tom had suffered a few attacks from crewmembers, but he couldn't identify them – neither could anyone else. They didn't cease until a few suicidal missions proved his loyalty to, well…everybody.

But she still didn't like it – she had brought him on here to give him a chance, away from prison – but she'd chucked him right back into another one – complete with unanimous hatred from all, and even a few attacks, and solitude on his part.

"Don't remind me about the attacks," she said testily. "Another topic. Consider that an order if you must."

Another amused head-shake from Chakotay.

"Whatever you say, Captain Kathryn."

"You better not call me that around the crew."

"You're right – has too much of a nice ring to it. The name's mine," he said, mock-possessively.

She shut her eyes in her own mock despair, before both of them laughed.

"God, I haven't been able to laugh so openly in ages," she said. She took a deep breath, and sighed. "Not since…hm…" she suddenly didn't want to say.

"Not since what?"

"Just…that's just it," she said quickly. "I don't remember."

Chakotay had been about to push another piece of chicken into his mouth, but suddenly, he paused. "You're lying about something. Please, don't try and fool me, Kathryn."

She sighed.

"It's nothing."

"Well, if you feel the need to lie to me about it-"

"It's just a triviality that would cause more trouble than it's worth, Chakotay."

"It's causing trouble now!"

She sighed.

"I've just been so _tense_ ever since…Kashyk. There I said it. Happy? How about we turn back to another topic? Even Equinox."

"Equinox is better than Kashyk?" Chakotay asked. "I definitely need to know more behind this." He'd even set his fork down. Damn him.

"This is why I never mentioned it," she said. "Let's just say I broke protocols, and leave it at that, all right?"

"Broke protocols? Our beloved captain? This is definitely interesting."

Janeway growled.

"No, it's not," she said. Chakotay's grin suddenly grew in size.

"You know you're cute when you're angry? It's endearing."

"I am not endearing!" She cried out. "I'm a captain, for God's sake – I don't have the time to be endearing."

"And yet you have the time to go on a candlelight dinner with your commanding officer?" he asked.

She dropped her face into her hands.

"I give up."

"So easily!"

She groaned from her throat, frustration evident.

"Now I know how Tuvok feels when he talks to Tom," Chakotay said happily.

She shook her head.

"Now I know how _Tom_ feels when he's talking to _Tuvok_."

Another eye-roll from Chakotay.

"Don't think I forgot about whatever it was from Kashyk," he said. "Please…elaborate."

"You'd think I need to be checked out by the doctor."

"It was a long time ago."

"You'd still think I need to be checked out by the Doctor."

"I'll be the judge of that, Captain."

"Fine."

"You'll tell me?"

"You don't want to hear it…" she tried one last time.

"You're just making me want to hear it more."

"Fine!"

"Tell me-"

"Are you sure?"

"Kathryn-"

"I kissed him."

That got Chakotay stopped in his tracks.

"You…what?"

"I…kissed him. I guess it isn't as breaking protocols are normal, but still…"

"You…kissed…_him_?!"

He was taking it a lot harder than she'd imagined. Yet somehow, it was…comforting. Odd.

"Now I…nevermind," he said.

"Tell me," she said cheekily.

"Not this again."

"Now you know how I feel, Chakotay."

He sighed.

"Well, I'm a far more honest person than you," Chakotay said. "Now I know how Tom felt when B'Elanna started rekindling her old flame with Max."

"…But Tom and B'Elanna are dating."

"Poor analogy choice. The situation had…amused me. It was on my mind."

"Mm hm…" she said. This was quickly taking a bad turn. "So…back to the crewmembers…our new ones."

"Working relatively well. Like I said, they're making great friends with Tom, so he's taking care of them…I think that over time, the same thing will happen with them as Tom: people will slowly adjust to them. I just suggest you recommend them for all upcoming suicidal away missions."

She laughed. "Note taken. I'll let you take care of that."

He nodded.

"But really, Kathryn…how are you holding up?" he said. "I mean…especially with me, and the almost-mutiny. You had a lot on your hands, especially with everyone else on the verge of following _my_ example." There was an awkward beat of silence. "I'm sorry for all that, by the way."

"Don't be," she said. "You were doing what was right. If anything, I should thank you for doing that. I was losing my head. And there was a reason you're my first officer – to help keep me in line."

Chakotay chuckled again.

"I guess this is just something we'll have to work on," he said.

"Right…" she said. With that, she simply took another bite of her food.

For a few moments, it was like that. A comfortable silence – the kind that only close friends could achieve without feeling utterly awkward. It was nice, going through the chicken, the mashed potatoes, some Chicken-Pot Pie…then a desert of Vanilla-Lemon pudding…

"Kathryn," he said. "You've got some pudding…" He appeared to be badly suppressing laughter. "Down your…chin…"

"Where?" she asked immediately. She scrubbed at the left side of her chin. "Did I get it?"

"No…it's on the other side…no, no, you missed it…here, let me…" he reached over and with his thumb, he started right at the corner of her lip, trailing his abrasive skin down her sensitive nerves, cleaning up the mess, and setting her nerves on fire along with it.

She barely contained the blush threatening to creep up, and she could tell he was doing much the same.

"So…" she mumbled after a moment. "How…how's the ship's status?" she asked. Always a safe topic, no matter what.

"Tuvok and Seven are already working on repairing the hull's microfractures from the interspatial fractures. B'Elanna is dealing with the warp core's leak, formed today. Tom has had to drop down to Warp 8 for now, but he's still managing quite nicely. Neelix blew something up in the kitchen, actually…quite interesting. Although Naomi finally joined forces with Tom and convinced Neelix to at least attempt to make pizza. Gilmore apparently helped on that front."

"Gilmore will redeem herself, yet, with that one," Kathryn joked. Chakotay laughed, their awkwardly-sensual moment from earlier broken.

"That she will, captain," Chakotay said. There was a sudden beeping from the captain's console, and she got up to see what it was, Chakotay trailing behind to see what it was.

"A status report on the warp core?" Chakotay asked.

"I told B'Elanna to keep me updated. I knew about the warp core before you did –I was there when the leak formed. I swear, all the inanimate objects on this whip must hate me…"

"It looks pretty damn bad…" Chakotay said.

"_Torres to the captain,"_ B'Elanna's voice came over the intercom. The captain pressed down on her own comm. badge and said, "Go ahead."

"_Permission to eject the warp core and hold with a tractor beam? It's getting pretty bad down here."_

"Wait a few minutes, and be my guest." Kathryn said simply. "Janeway out."

Another beat, glancing over the console.

"Janeway to Ensign Paris."

"_Yeah, Captain?"_

"B'Elanna's ejecting the warp core and hold it in by a tractor beam – it's getting that bad. I need to you drop down to impulse speeds for now."

"_Got, it captain. Paris out."_

Another deep breath from Chakotay. But rather than hearing it, she more felt it on her neck as he read B'Elanna's meticulous report.

"Probably internal damage from the fight with Equinox."

He actually _leaned in_ to read it. Damn B'Elanna for cramming all her info together. Kathryn couldn't move…his face was so close.

A low whistle.

"I am really starting to think someone from Equinox attempted a sabotage job."

"Yes…sabotage…" Kathryn said.

Suddenly, Chakotay blinked. He, too, became aware, how close his face was to hers. For a moment, their eyes were locked.

He moved. But not away – no, quite the opposite. Kathryn was almost stunned when she found her lips locked with his. But she didn't let go, either – she just kissed right back.

For a sweet moment, their weren't in the captain's ready room on a ship stranded all the way in the middle of the Delta Quadrant. They were off in their own little world.

A moment, and they seemed to fall away from each other, both breathing heavily, eyes still locked.

Suddenly, something flashed through Chakotay's eyes, and he practically jumped back.

"Kathryn…Captain…I shouldn't have…I mean…it was…not my place…I'm sorry…"

He looked at her, suddenly nervous. She couldn't help but suddenly feel like high school all over.

She took a deep breath. She was a risk taker by nature, as evidenced by what she said next:

"Don't be sorry."

He swallowed and simply stood still as she stood up, slowly, walking over to him.

She was standing close to him again. She took a deep breath.

"Don't be sorry at all."

With that, she took her chance: she leaned forward and kissed him, herself.

It was…amazing. She couldn't muster the brainpower to come up with anything better. She somehow managed to take a step closer without breaking contact. He seemed to almost instinctively place his hands on her waist, pulling her closer to him.

They only broke apart when breathing became necessary, collapsing onto the couch, his arms around her.

Resting her head against his chest, she said, "Do we have any idea what just happened?"

"I'm afraid to overthink it," Chakotay said breathlessly in her ear. She leaned her whole body into him. God, it felt nice to be _held_, simply _held_ again…after so long, so alone…family was nice, and she loved having a family on board, but to not be alone…

"I don't want to, either," she said. "Overthink it, I mean…let's just…"

"Stay here?" Chakotay offered. Kathryn nodded. What the hell was she doing? This shouldn't be happening – every logical and practical part of her brain was yelling at her, telling her to let go, jump up, tell Chakotay to pretend this never happened…

But the suddenly stronger part of her brain, that damned emotional part, didn't want to – and it won. She just wanted to stay here, wrapped in strong arms, warmer than she's felt in so long and in so many ways.

"Staying here sounds nice," she said, leaning into his shoulder. For a few moments, nothing, but suddenly, nervously, Chakotay said, "Captain?"

"Hm?" she ask almost blearily, having felt so safe and relaxed that she'd started to doze off.

"Does this count as crossing the line?" he asked.

She paused.

"I don't think it'll count as crossing the line if I blew the sand away from it."

She could feel him nod with the movement of his chin on her head.

"So…I'm not going to the brig for this?"

She chuckled, knowing he felt it. One of the amazing things about being so close – you don't just hear or see what someone's saying, you actually _feel_ it…

"Any protocols that would send you to the brig would probably send me there, too, at this point."

"True," he said.

"So…" she took a deep breath, his aftershave tickling her nasal senses.

"So…"

She couldn't help it. "Am I the only one who suddenly feels like high school again?"

"No, not really," he said, with another laugh, his laughing chest reverberating through her own.

Another pause.

"This explains that look on your face when I told you I kissed Kashyk," she said. Almost instantly, she regretted it, as he stiffened, a little.

"That was a while back, captain…I have no right to feel jealous…even this-"

"Don't call me Captain."

He looked down at her as she looked up.

"Cap-Kathryn?"

"Don't call me Captain – not here, not when we're alone."

He looked down at her. Her features, every single line, every single piece of perfection and imperfection, her dimples – everything.

"Of course," he said, drawing his arms tighter around her. "Whatever you say…Captain Kathryn."

* * *

**A/N:**** Interesting that I wrote this, despite actually being quite the Seven/Chakotay fan. But don't worry - this one will be Janeway/Chakotay all the way. (Though an affair or two does add a spice to life).**

**Anyway, this will be a series of vaguely connected vignettes on their lives. Follows the _Voyager_ timelines, vaguely AU-ish at moments. Not just a story, but not just vignettes, either. Whatever the hell this is, enjoy it!**


	2. Holodeck Troubles

**_Holodeck Troubles_**

**A/N:**** Post Fair Haven. Slightly AUish – this one starts right when Janeway activated the Sullivan program after the storm – it changes from there. You'll figure it out as you go along. ****Anyway, I know this came fast, but I'm actually going to warn you - I'm currently re-writing seven stories, continuing writing about five more, along with enough homework from school to drown me...so I'm going to measure that in terms on fanfics based on time they take, which tapers down to three more. So all in all, I've got roughly FIFTEEN (15!) stories going right about now.**

**Like I said - don't get used to the quick updates.**

* * *

She just stood there, staring at the Sullivan hologram, for a few moments.

Good lord, just a few weeks ago, she was all alone. Now, her heart was fighting between two men – one of which wasn't real, the other one illegal for her to date. One thing was for sure – she never made anything simple.

Only one date since she'd kissed Chakotay – one more stolen kiss. Then, lately…they seemed to have drifted apart. Still friends…but was there something more? They weren't avoiding each other – it's just that things had become so _hectic_…never much time together…

They seemed to have drifted apart – and she honestly didn't know how she felt about it, even with the Sullivan issue. She couldn't figure out Chakotay, either. He seemed to jest about her and Sullivan…but she just couldn't…

God, my life is far too complicated for my own good…

"Kathryn?"

She whipped around.

"Chakotay…you startled me…"

He slowly walked from the door to the console.

"I'll bet," he said, using his chin to gesture to the still-frozen Sullivan.

"Uh…yes…well…zoned out there, completely…"

"Just like you to do so," he said. "Especially over a holographic boyfriend."

She couldn't help it – she blushed.

"Well…there's just a little issue about which ten percent of the program to save."

"I imagine you already made your choice," Chakotay said stiffly, again nodding towards the hologram before them.

"Well…no…I haven't actually. That's why I'm still standing here, thinking."

She fought the urge to sigh…and scream. Normally so close – had those kisses pushed them apart somehow? Maybe she should've just left things the way they had been – at least they hadn't been so formal around each other, so…awkward.

"You have any suggestions?" she asked idly.

"I'm in favor of one of the pubs," he said. "Or maybe the town square. One of those."

She nodded.

"I'll be sure to tell Tom."

Slowly, she turned back, simply looking at the hologram…but not really looking. Already, she was lost in her thoughts.

"Kathryn?"

Again, pulled out sharply. But this time, she didn't turn around all the way – but she didn't face the hologram, either. She simply kept her eyes locked in the thin bulkheads on the far off wall.

"Yes?"

"I…" he sighed. "I've never been one to be much for beating around the bush. What I mean is…with this Sullivan character…does that mean that…our kiss…was nothing?"

She shut her eyes, unsure whether to thank Chakotay for being the first to ask, or to damn him for asking first.

"I…I don't know…"

She sagged, leaning against the console.

"I just…" she looked at Chakotay. "What happened? Just a date, a kiss…and suddenly, everything went crazy on us, and we had no _time_…"

"And then this guy came along."

It was starting to get unnerving for Kathryn, how his hands had been laced behind his back the whole time – still there. He was so still, it honestly made her feel…somehow, less composed. Like he should be moving, somehow.

"Yeah…something like that…" she said. "At least…that's what happened to me. What about you? Any fair maidens for you in fair haven?"

That garnered a chuckle from both of them. It certainly didn't break the ice, but at least it added a few cracks to it.

"No – no time. I was too busy helping Neelix."

She smiled again.

"Well," she said. "This program has certainly been rather interesting for everyone, I guess."

"It…it certainly has."

She had no idea how much more of this awkward conversation she could take.

* * *

He kept his hands behind himself, continuing to gaze at her.

"No – no time. I was too busy helping Neelix."

The smile on her face was refreshing. He tried not to think of how much he liked to see her smile, but it happened.

"Well," she said. "This program has certainly been rather interesting for everyone, I guess."

He nodded, while she momentarily spaced out again, before snapping back. She made no movement, but he watched her eyes – he could see it.

"It…it certainly has."

He didn't know how much more of this he could take. And if he was unsure, he couldn't really imagine how an impatient woman like Kathryn would hold up.

Finally, he just let out a deep sigh.

"I just…I want to know where we stand, Kathryn. I need to know."

He shifted his weight slightly, not sure if it helped his point or hurt it. Either way, her face seemed to shift internally when he did.

"I honestly just…don't know…"

Her hands scooted back to support her against the console. This was why Chakotay kept his hands firmly gripped behind his back – to fight the urge to place his hand on hers. The instinct to try and comfort her came almost naturally.

"Well…we need to…come to…decision…soon."

"I almost don't want to," she said. "These last few weeks…I just…I don't know!"

She stood back up, her sparky self back in action, and started pacing those few steps within the console.

"Everything that's happened…I mean, I went from engaged to single within two minutes. Then a few years later, I go from being lonely to fighting myself between two men within a matter of _weeks_. It's just so _fast_, all for one stupid emotion that just takes up so much goddamn time!"

He smiled again. She really was cute when she was angry.

"Which emotion?"

"Isn't it obvious?! Love!"

His eyebrows rose.

"Stupid emotion?"

She paused in her steps, before sighing and pinching the bridge of her nose.

"I know…I'm sorry. I just…"

"Everything's so complicated and…overwhelming?"

"Yeah," she said. "That."

"That's why you have a commander – to take half the burden and make things less complicated."

She smiled gratefully at him, despite him having not currently done anything to warrant it.

"I know…and thank you for that. Especially for being a Maquis, just taking up the job so expertly…and…helping so much. I needed it – all of it."

The tone in her voice broke the last straw if will power in him as he gently walked over and _did_ place a comforting hand on her agitated on, stilling her almost instantly while she simply stared blankly at it.

"That's what I'm paid for," he said with a smile.

She looked up at him. Close proximity obviously wasn't working for either of then. But neither of them were moving. It was just like their first 'date' – their first kiss.

"Well," she finally said, her hot breath actually tingling his skin. "You're not really _paid_ per se…"

"I mostly am," he said. "Mostly…"

She swallowed, nodding.

He didn't know what happened. One minute, he was simply looking into her eyes, next minute, their lips were locked again. Sweet, gentle…all the things she needed that he had.

His breathing was heavy when he broke off for just a moment, heart beating rapidly. He leaned his forehead against hers, both of them just standing there, eyes closed, enjoying each other's presence.

"Does this still mean you're with Sullivan?" he finally asked after a moment. She just grinned.

"Computer," she said. "Delete character."

"_Character deleted."_

"Computer," Chakotay said a moment later. "Send a message to Tom Paris: We have Sandrine's, put my vote down for skipping the pub and saving the town square."

"Really?" she asked quietly. He nodded, before giving his authorization code. He focused back on Kathryn when the computer confirmed that the message was sent.

"You know," Chakotay said. "I have a nice camping program. Grand Canyon, midnight, fire with smores on the roast, nice tent…"

"Sounds nice," she said simply, finally leaning away. She was half leaning against, half sitting on the console, with Chakotay pressing her against it. Not that she was complaining.

"Computer," Chakotay called out again. "Activate: Chakotay Canyon Camping Scenario Alpha-6."

Suddenly, they were standing beside a fire, a tent on the other side of it, on the edge of the Grand Canyon, with an amazing view of the stars above them. There was one large sleeping bag on the ground beside the fire, which Chakotay was already seating himself on, patting the spot right next to him for Kathryn. She sat down, wordlessly accepting her smore, leaning her head against Chakotay's shoulder as she idly watched the flames dancing before her.

Yep – this was exactly what they needed: each other.

* * *

**A/N:**** I've already started planning out the next vignette in my head: Of Memorials and Memories. (If you can't guess which episode this one is following, then you need to go back and watch all of season six again...and then again after that. :D)**

**As always, please review!**

(Oh, and please check out my newest Voyager fic "Painless Torture". All I'm saying is this: screaming, whump/torture, and Tom Paris. I hope I don't need to be saying anything more. :D


	3. Memorials and Memories

**_Memorials and Memories_**

**A/N:**** Post 'Memorial' – AU line starting to take more and more prominence, still very slight. Oh, and slight Tom angst. Anyone who reads my other fandom fics will know that I just LOVE to whump TV pretty-boys, so I sneak it in whenever I can. :D**

* * *

_Another weapon's blast burning the right over his head, and a scream to accompany it. But it was only a child who screamed, and he was screaming, too, yelling and screaming at his soldiers to stop shooting, stop making things worse. They had to stop firing, explain to these civilians-_

_Were there any civilians left? There were so many bodies, and almost none of them were actual soldiers. Men, women, elderly, children. Oh, god – he could see a dead infant from here. It would look like it was sleeping, if not for the smoking hole in its chest-_

_More firing, more screaming. "STOP!" he yelled. "PLEASE, JUST STOP!" Suddenly, a flash came right in his direction-_

"AH!"

He sat up, heart pounding in his chest, before shutting his eyes and leaning his head back.

Damnit – another nightmare.

Damn memorial.

And of course, because he was on the away mission during the surge of power of the memorial, it was implanted a little deeper into his and the other three officers' memories than the rest of the crew. Knowing he had it worse than them wasn't really all that comforting.

At least not as bad as Tom…from what B'Elanna's been saying and by how Tom's been looking, he's not getting any sleep at all – to the point of needing a sleeping aid to get any rest at all. A very, very strong one.

Chakotay might follow suit, soon.

"Chakotay?"

He looked over beside him. He and Kathryn had been 'camping' on some coastal stretch, and they'd fallen sleep between their blankets, on the sand, after a nice round of outdoor hoverball.

"It's nothing, Kathryn."

Yeah, like she'd fall for that.

"Another nightmare?" she asked. He sighed and nodded. She slowly stood up, silk, white night gown fluttering in the lightest wind.

"I get them now and again, too…though I know not as bad as you."

"I think I might follow Tom's example and get a sleeping aid."

She nodded.

"See the doctor tomorrow, if you really want to look into that."

He nodded slowly, eyes off in the distance.

"What do you do after nightmares?" he asked, sitting up, pulling on a thick robe over his clothes, damp with sweat.

"A large cup of chamomile tea."

He nodded again. "Sounds nice."

"Want me to get some for us?"

"Same answer," he said with a smile, trying to push the memories back.

He leaned back against the sandy bluff, letting the smell of the ocean fill his nostrils and relax him, smiling appreciatively when he felt a hot cup of tea in his head.

"Cheers," she said, smiling comfortingly, clinking her china cup gently against his, before both sipped at their own tea.

He sighed and leaned his head back.

"God, it was ages ago…how the hell does it still effect me?"

Kathryn looked at him, smiling a little.

"Well, for one, your proximity to it when you worked on it."

"But still – those crewmen working with us? It's worn off for them."

"You were also there during the away mission – double dose."

Another head tossed back.

"I'd mention that for Harry and Neelix, it's already worn off quite a bit…"

"Except for Tom, for whom it's actually worse."

Chakotay nodded, on the verge of laughing.

"You know what I think?" she said. "You two care a bit too much. It's not the physical effects keeping them there – it's the psychological effects. You felt the emotions…"

"Your point?"

"Guilt. Neither of you two have ever been that good with guilt."

He nodded.

"And as you once said," she said. "'You wish it was as easy to stop hating as it was to start.' Maybe the same applies for many other emotions in this area. Guilt, especially."

He just sighed before taking a few rather large gulps of the tea, draining it in seconds.

"Well…none of it matters. I think I'll go see the Doctor tomorrow about a sleeping aid."

She sighed, and both of them looked off into the ocean, letting the sound of crashing waves wash over them and letting themselves be lit by the two moons in the sky, and the two moon reflections on the calm water.

He slipped his arm around her and pulled her close, needing to feel warmth, needing to feel something alive right next to him, against him, hot skin against hot skin. She melted into his arms like always, her hand gently rubbings circles into his chest, both of them simply letting the beach wash over the like the waves on the shells.

"Kathryn?"

"Hm?"

"Do…did you ever see an infant? In your nightmares?"

She paused, her hand too, before turning to look up at him.

"An infant?"

"Yes…and infant…it looked like it was asleep…except for that smoking hole in its chest…but god, it was just a _baby_…"

She shook her head.

"I never saw that…the worst part for me was watching a phaser kill a mother and her two children in one shot."

He sighed, shaky and unsteady.

"God…I just want to be rid of these nightmares…"

"I know," She said.

"I just…one night of _decent_ sleep…"

"I know-"

"Just _one_ goddamn night without feeling an impossible amount of guilt and pain over something I have nothing to do with…over something that happened centuries ago…"

"I know…"

"Just one night…"

Another circle drawn by her fingers in his chest.

"I know…" she paused. "Maybe we should go get that sleeping aid now."

He smiled.

"I think I'll stay here for now," he said. She nodded before resting her head on his chest again.

"So…" she mumbled. "Feel like doing anything for right now?"

"Not really," he said, shutting his eyes. "Laying here sounds nice."

He wrapped his arm a little tighter around, pulling her closer – and she didn't fight it.

"I'm going to have to agree…" she said. He could hear her voice lowering with the lull of the waves, pulling her back onto her dream of clouds. He was on cloud nine, himself.

"Then let's stay here," he said, slowly shutting his eyes…

For the first time in a long, long time, he slept. Peacefully.

He might not need that sleeping aid, after all…

* * *

**A/N:**** Okay, I hope it didn't hurt too much to read that. Sorry about it being so short.**

**Anyway, up next:**

_**Ashes To Flame:**_** Chakotay and Janeway aren't sure if things between them are for better or worse - until Janeway can't help but reflect over the resurrection of her dead crewmember...and decide things shouldn't go down that path. But Chakotay never gives up without a fight.**

(If you can't guess what episode it's after, you REALLY need to go re-watch the whole damn series, got it?)


End file.
